D-Day

So there I was, lying on a hospital bed, 11 months after injuring my shoulder, waiting to have it fixed. I had completed my pre-op appointments a month earlier, so I knew what I was in for, but that didn't help to calm the nerves. There wasn't anything specific I was dreading, just the whole process. I knew it would hurt, I could handle that. I knew I would be in a sling for 6-8 weeks taking it one day at a time. I knew I had six months of rehab in front of me, a tedious but doable task. So why was I so nervous? I think it was just the thought of someone fishing around in my shoulder with foreign objects that don't belong there, and worse, leaving some of the parts behind. What if one of the anchors came loss? Would it come out in my stool or get wedged between a joint and jam it up? I can't help but imagine the anchors looking like drywall mollies. They never seemed all that reliable to me.

One by one different specialists and nurses would come in to see me, describing in detail what their role was. Each one would begin asking me my name and birth date. Dr. Miller even came in to double check which shoulder we were doing and marked it with a purple marker. I wonder who got the wrong shoulder done to warrant such diligent double checking, or worse, who had their perfectly good spleen removed when they went in for shoulder surgery. One of the nurses inserted on IV port in to my left hand, which looking back now was the most painful part of the experience. After that, all the drugs were just inserted in to the port. The first round was dose of Benadryl followed by an anti nausea medicine. I wasn't nauseous to begin with but I didn't mind the extra protection. The Benadryl made my arm hurt though. I could feel it creeping up toward my elbow. I very quickly felt like I was floating and the room became surreal.

After a few minutes, a group of people came in to administer the nerve block in my neck to numb my arm. Just before they did that, they put another dose of something in the port and that's the last I remember. According to my wife Sue I was still awake answering questions they were asking me about there placement of the nerve block, but I don't remember any of it.

The next thing I remember was shaking violently with my legs because I was freezing. I think I had six or seven hospital blankets on me. They were very comfortable, like they just took them out of the microwave. I woke up again to my teeth chattering. I think I was sipping apple juice too. The doctor came in to talk to me and tell me how it went, but it went in one ear and out the other. I finally felt stable enough to hobble across the hallway to go pee. It was like being at a restaurant when they clear your unfinished plate when you went to the bathroom. As soon as I was done, there was a wheel chair waiting for me to throw me out the door. I don't even remember getting dressed. I'm sure I did at some point because before I knew it, I was in the car on the way home. Time seemed very compressed. I don't think it was back to normal until I was home for a few hours.

With the nerve block in full effect, I couldn't feel a thing from the left side of my neck down to my finger tips. It was like someone else's arm was attached to my body. I kept reminding myself to be careful cracking my knuckles so I wouldn't inadvertently snap a finger off. I could just imagine picking up a lifeless finger from the floor saying, "Oops, my bad."

I always remember a story my mom would tell from when she was young about waking up in the middle of the night after sleeping on her arm. She had no feeling in it and didn't realize it was her own arm. She thought someone was grabbing her. She got up screaming and ran down the stairs trying to escape the grasp this arm had on her.

I didn't realize how much the nerve block was helping until it began to fade around midnight and I realized my shoulder was still mine and it wasn't happy. I woke up the next morning after spending the night on the recliner to some remnant numbness in my thumb. It was the last good nights sleep I would have for a while.